diff --git a/flake.lock b/flake.lock
index 5c3d11b..0d97769 100644
--- a/flake.lock
+++ b/flake.lock
@@ -1,6 +1,22 @@
 {
   "nodes": {
     "flake-compat": {
+      "locked": {
+        "lastModified": 1709944340,
+        "narHash": "sha256-xr54XK0SjczlUxRo5YwodibUSlpivS9bqHt8BNyWVQA=",
+        "owner": "9999years",
+        "repo": "flake-compat",
+        "rev": "baa7aa7bd0a570b3b9edd0b8da859fee3ffaa4d4",
+        "type": "github"
+      },
+      "original": {
+        "owner": "9999years",
+        "ref": "baa7aa7",
+        "repo": "flake-compat",
+        "type": "github"
+      }
+    },
+    "flake-compat_2": {
       "flake": false,
       "locked": {
         "lastModified": 1696426674,
@@ -259,7 +275,7 @@
     },
     "nix-wsl": {
       "inputs": {
-        "flake-compat": "flake-compat",
+        "flake-compat": "flake-compat_2",
         "flake-utils": "flake-utils",
         "nixpkgs": [
           "nixpkgs"
@@ -368,6 +384,7 @@
     },
     "root": {
       "inputs": {
+        "flake-compat": "flake-compat",
         "home-manager": "home-manager",
         "home-manager-unstable": "home-manager-unstable",
         "hyprland": "hyprland",
diff --git a/flake.nix b/flake.nix
index dcade92..49c141f 100644
--- a/flake.nix
+++ b/flake.nix
@@ -47,6 +47,9 @@
       inputs.nixpkgs.follows = "nixpkgs";
     };
 
+    # edolstra/flake-compat#64
+    flake-compat.url = "github:9999years/flake-compat/baa7aa7";
+
     nixfiles-assets = {
       # using self-hosted gitea mirror because of GitHub LFS bandwidth limit (even though i'd probably never hit it)
       type = "git";
@@ -63,6 +66,31 @@
     lib = nixpkgs.lib;
     systems = [ "x86_64-linux" "aarch64-linux" ];
 
+    # absolutely grotesque workaround for NixOS/nix#4623
+    nixfiles-assets-grotesque-lfs-workaround = eachSystem (system:
+      let
+        pkgs = import nixpkgs { inherit system; };
+        # we have to define a flake-compat version of this flake because
+        # referencing an input directly seems to evaluate it when we only want
+        # the narHash from flake.lock
+        self-fc = (import inputs.flake-compat {src = ./.; inherit system; }).defaultNix;
+        srcWithLFS = pkgs.fetchgit {
+          inherit (self-fc.inputs.nixfiles-assets) rev;
+
+          # flake inputs don't expose the URL for some reason so we have to define it again here
+          url = "https://gitea.protogen.io/nullbite/nixfiles-assets";
+
+          # you need to run `nix flake update` on a user with Git LFS already
+          # configured (i am assuming?? it seems to work if i lock the flake as
+          # my current user but not root, which doesn't have LFS configured)
+          hash = self-fc.inputs.nixfiles-assets.narHash;
+          fetchLFS = true;
+        };
+        trace = builtins.trace "warning: we're still using this awful LFS workaround";
+      in
+        trace (import inputs.flake-compat { src = srcWithLFS; inherit system; }).defaultNix
+    );
+
     overlays = [
       /* android-tools 33.0.3p2 */ (final: prev: {
         inherit (inputs.pkg-android-tools.legacyPackages.${final.system})
@@ -80,7 +108,8 @@
 
       inputs.hyprwm-contrib.overlays.default
       inputs.rust-overlay.overlays.default
-      inputs.nixfiles-assets.overlays.default
+      # inputs.nixfiles-assets.overlays.default
+      (final: prev: { inherit (nixfiles-assets-grotesque-lfs-workaround.${prev.system}.packages.${prev.system}) nixfiles-assets; })
     ];
 
     ### Configuration